America; the only industrialized nation to not have federally mandated maternity leave, while having one the world’s highest infant mortality rate. Welcome to the war on motherhood; to unfriendly workplaces unaccommodating to women’s unique reproductive needs and blind to the age structure that makes each generation interdependent. With a declining birthrate since 1973 in the US and most countries declining globally, on the outside this might look like a good thing. Fewer and fewer offspring to replace fewer and fewer offspring, not in an orderly graduation as it should be, but rather in population implosion free-fall. The fertility rate of humanity is trending towards eventual extinction.
It doesn’t help that those of us that choose to make our primary occupation as mothers are labeled as lacking ambition, lazy, or decried as useless breeders. Without some willing breeder none of us would exist…ever. To me there is nothing more ambitious than creating someone who did not even exist before; indeed procreation is the pinnacle of all creative efforts. It is the wellspring from which all life emerges.
Even the childless depend on the next taxpaying generation and young workers. The childless elderly will depend on young doctors and nurses to care for them. They will depend on young cooks, garbage collectors, landscape workers, police and firemen. In other words those of you my childless brethren out there will depend on someone else’s children, even though you did not contribute by having any of your own. Even if you have no children you are still a son or daughter of someone else.
It could therefore be argued that the childless are future dependents as my children and the children of others are going to be burdened with a large elderly population that they can’t possibly pay or care for. Better start pumping out those robots and be ready to live in some dystopic version of AI.
Take for example Japan where adult diapers now exceed the sale of baby diapers. Japan as a nation has largely lost its sex and procreative drive. It is reported that young people have lost interest in sex and have a real proclivity for anthropomorphizing pets, especially dogs, pushing them around in baby strollers and dressing them up in retarded outfits. The red light district has lost so much business in many cities in Japan, they have simply closed down. They say if Japan keeps up at its fertility trends, the Japanese people will be extinct in just 3 generations.
I love my cat Shivva, but when I see the unnatural attachment childless people have to their pets, I can only feel pity for such a sad display of misplaced maternal and paternal instincts. Then I hear them say that this is their “child”. That’s right a child with a lifespan of less than 20 years, a child that will never read and write or learn complex language skills, a child that will never pay taxes or cure cancer. Sure we have the disabled, but dogs and cats will NEVER have these possibilities, they are nice furry companions, but you will never be able to teach them a piece of music or impart a complex mathematical equation. An apple may be a fruit, but it will never be an orange, no matter how much you want it to be. When you insist on that you commit a fallacy known as equivocation.
Children are our future and when we birth them, we acknowledge that we are the past. We acknowledge our own mortality and the finite nature of individual existence. For the artists we mothers create the future patrons for their works. For the musicians mothers create a future audience for recordings and performances. For the hungry, we moms grow the farmers of tomorrow. Motherhood is nothing but ambition, throwing your DNA into a future where you will no longer be, a sort of proxy immortality. You then see yourself not as some atomized limited individual, but as a small part of a much greater picture.
But it seems from our self hatred of humanity we are committing a sort of slow species suicide.
In Singapore it has gotten so bad that women are being paid upwards of $18,000 to produce a third child. Here in America we have family courts that profit off high rates of divorce and litigious parents going at each other. Is it no wonder that I myself know more people that are childless than have families of their own? Such people never fully individuate from their parents sometimes, indeed they are perpetual children whose declining bodies eventually betray the fact that they are no longer children.
Often they suffer from Narcissist personality disorder, they really don’t get the eventuality of their own death and how deeply unimportant they are. Now this isn’t true of all childless people, some use their maternal and paternal instincts to help their friends, the elderly, the homeless, the disabled. I know of one such individual who uses her maternal instincts in helping hoarders organize and get over their disorder.
Still it is not in my imagination that there is a cultural war on motherhood. That if a woman chooses family as her career that somehow she is an anti-feminist throw-back. If America wants more babies since we so malign immigration, we need to start treating motherhood as a place of honor rather than shame. And speaking of immigration, Mexico’s fertility is way down as well, as population continues to shrink there will naturally be less immigration.
I myself was criticized recently by someone for having another baby and breastfeeding for a year instead of working on publishing my poetry book or painting. I say what does it matter? There will be less and less people existing to read or listen to my poetry. With economic and fertility decline there are fewer patrons to buy my paintings. Why should I bother polishing the brass on a sinking Titanic?
Instead I’m building a lifeboat and it’s called raising and caring for the proper development of our future generation. When I get a handle on that I can get back to more self-centered endeavors. Motherhood at its core should be about self-sacrifice and we should all acknowledge whether we were raised by our biological moms or adopted moms, that some woman sacrificed her body for nearly a year.
I can tell you from experience alone, that the pregnancy, birth and recovery itself, even aside from the childrearing is an incredible sacrifice. So hats off as well, to those that are only biological or surrogate moms. From fallen arches, to swollen fingers, to weight gain and back pain, to diabetes and morning sickness; these women did something they did not have to do for someone else. I myself am the product of a teenage pregnancy. If two young people hadn’t been doing it in the back of a 1971 Chevy Impala, I would not be writing this right now.
So instead of looking down a woman with a lot of children at the grocery store (yes I’ve seen you do it when I have all 3), you should go up and THANK her. Thank her for giving birth to a person in the future who may be taking care of YOU. This baby could be the EMT at your door, the soldier who defends your country, the doctor who cures your disease or even the janitor that mops your room in the nursing home.
Remember this childless droves, the generations on interdependent, you are not the child-free island you think you are. We mothers are not nobodies we are the creators of the some bodies. It is only fitting that we mothers should claim our power. The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.
Articles of the global fertility decline phenomenon
This below is a great article on how we stigmatize stay at home mothers
some ignorant comments by right wing idiots against mothers
this book is A MUST READ, if it feel like your country is against you for being a mother, it’s because the country IS AGAINST YOU
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