As you may have noticed, I have begun a new series of paintings dedicated to divine pairs of male and female dancers. The reasoning for this, I found that through love all things are possible, and to me since God is Love, I believe His love brought all being into existence, that life itself is a romantic divine dance. The reason for the pas de deux? Well for me the male female counterparts represent procreation bringing life into being. It is based on my own personal experience of reproducing with a man and fellow artist that I have loved in one form or another both platonic, agape, and Eros since 1995. After that happened my faith in God was reconfirmed and I joined Winter Park St Andrews Methodist church in 2013. Soon after joining I found out I was going to be a mom again at the ripe old age of 40. I was frightened to have a baby in my 40’s and knew all that could go wrong, but Maximilian was as perfect as any baby birthed by a 25 year old. In fact so far he appears like his sisters to be quite gifted. After that the world made sense, God made sense, family made sense, even the reasoning behind scripture became illuminated and unveiled to me. Revelations became a literal revelation and I began to see God’s word and understanding in everything around me; from quantum physics, to child mother bonding, to the Fibonacci sequence in the oak trees. Temporal existence fell away while I experienced another world that is eternal. I began having vivid lucid dreams and I stopped experiencing demonic sleep paralysis, where it would feel like an evil being was holding me to the bed. I knew I was free, that witches couldn’t touch me because He was in control. After I had Max I had about 40 to 50 lbs to lose, I still think I have ten left, but my husband just says it’s my huge breasts (long term breast feeder). So I started attending a beginning ballet class taught by a professional dancer named Alexis at the local YMCA. I attended this class regularly for two years and lost 40 lbs but even after it was over I was hooked. Ballet made me feel taller, more graceful, elegant even so I continued on my own with a barre at home. I started watching Russian ballets online and obsessing with the romance and grace, that is missing from our pornographic trash culture here in America. I had stopped painting for a while and abandoned all things art because I felt the art world was a dark hedonistic place that is destructive to family life. I reasoned I can’t have it all. But then I became divinely inspired, what if like the original iconoclastic artists of early Christian times, that I too dedicated my work to God?
What if I brought some light to that dark world and instead of like other artists trying to be my own God, used my work as a form of creative worship? To endeavor for a kind of sacredness and prayer as I paint? So there you have it. 10 more paintings to come in the series.
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