Dreams ..you know what my dreams are/ were? To marry someone who is my best friend; accomplished. Have at least 3 children; done, even at my old age. Have a Bachelor's degree and marry someone else with at least a Bachelor degree, who is now getting his Masters; check. And the big one when I was stuck in union park for nine years, to actually own a house in Winter Park. Being a Winter Park resident has been a huge boon for my family and children's social status. There's nothing like having access to the Winter Park Library, Whole Foods, Crosby YMCA, Park Avenue and Rollins college a mere two miles away. Orlando museum of Art barely 3 miles away. I have nothing to prove on the internet because I have already arrived. I find that the real world is giving me all the satisfaction I need. I'll leave social media to those who are trying to carve out a pathetic false self.
Peacock barrettes and peacock bracelets adorn my world and all manner of peacockery is my scene, so no pininterest is needed to fake it. My talents are gifts from the Source of all. They are not my own,so therefore must serve something greater than myself. Through the grace of God and gentle patience my life has blossomed. Like getting up at 5 am to make my husband coffee and breastfeeding and being pregnant for literally FOUR YEARS STRAIGHT. buetiful%20bella%202.jpg
A family is along term investment and narcissists only think in the short term. They think about what will give them attention and satisfaction now, what will make other people notice them right this second.They bite their nose to spite their face and end up bitter and alone in the end. When the beauty fades and the charms rust one by one their associates wake up and leave. But when you don't have narcissism but rather a quiet deliberate determined nature, you can wait like a graceful feline, slowly building your resources and time. Until one day the hare realizes the tortoise has left him in the proverbial dust. Yes I am still an artist but I am a wife and mother first. Right now I do watercolors with my three year old and am teaching her to finger paint, also teaching her ballet and dance.
My oldest daughter has already had her work at the Winter Park Art Festival. What is more sad being near 50 and trying to compete with younger more talented people, or raising and cultivating the next generation of younger and more talented people?
I get sick and tired of people putting down mothers who stay at home to wipe buts and spoon baby food. Well guess what? If no one did that for you your narcissistic self would be dead or someone would have found you in dumpster or you wouldn't have been born at all. What gets me about self involved narcissistic people that makes my blood boil, is that they really think they are some kind of star and the rest of us are just planets that revolve around them.
Guess what my dream is!? A world where narcissistic personality disorder no longer exists and everyone treats everyone else as equals. A world where art is used as communication, expression and interpretation and not self-aggrandizement and disgusting ego trips. But until things get fixed and Judgement comes, the narcissists will always be in control of the false narrative they have created to brainwash the rest of us. Just ask Edward Bearnaise.
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